To Bill

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day but we already celebrated with a dinner out. We don't eat out often, I love cooking and I loathe most of the service industry in Austin. If we are return customers it's because the food was yummy but the waitstaff was even better.

The best Valentine I ever received was a mix cd from my husband, at the time, boyfriend. It began with the Ramones-I wanna be your boyfriend. We had met at a vintage store, he bought Freedom Suite and had a twinkle in his eye and I followed him out the store to see if I could catch any more clues to who this guy was. I had his autograph on the Visa receipt and studied it for my remaining hours at work. I couldn't help but replay the way he acted in the store over and over in my head because I had noticed him when he walked in and he had been the only customer I had that morning so I was not distracted. I noted how he carried himself. I notice how a person moves more than anything and noted his gait as he walked out the door. Not much was said, we introduced each other, I got his name but I wanted to know more. He looked familiar, I figured I would see him again and I hoped I was right. Back at home I Googled his name and found his address, a few days later I drove by his house. Feeling like a creepy stalker kept me from doing this again.

One day, months later, at the bus stop he came walking by. Hey! We spoke and I felt a buzz from our short conversation. We said we'd get coffee but it didn't happen. I found out he worked just down the street from me. Finally, after a few failed attempts to get together for art openings, coffee dates and just office drop bys, it was on a lonely bus ride home a year and half later that we finally connected. It was one of those days where so much was the same and I spent most of the day lost in thought and had not spoken much at the office. I planned on a nap when I got home, I thought maybe I should move out of state, missed that book I had been reading...

It was then I looked away from my window and noticed across from me sat a guy reading a book. I glanced over again and noticed it was the guy from the store. Wow, it had been awhile, I didn't think he'd recognize me but I had to say hi. Yay that I did because he did recognize me and conversation was about missed attempts at contact in the past and some catch up. He had been trying to find me at the store and I was no longer working there. We were now living in the same hood. His stop came first and I rode home with happy butterflies in my tummy and didn't need that nap.

Valentine's Day arrived October 2003. Happiness to me has been the feeling of not needing much of the tangible and separating from it. It is feeling everything is taken care of and looking forward to dinner with the guy who walked into the store that day with a twinkle in his eye who totally changed my life. You know The One when you feel like you're home when you hug. Heart be still!